| Location | Croydon |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 7/2005 |
| Date of Death | 7/2005 |
| Visitors | 2,796 since 13/03/2007 |
| Creator |
Cody-Ann Tucker
Born asleep on 03/07/2005
19 weeks gestation
Due on 8/11/2005
My Baby Girl (daughter)
Mummy & Daddy
Stillborn
Baby Peanut Tucker
Miscarried on 09/08/2007
8 weeks gestation
Due on 21/03/2008
I never thought i would ever get pregnant as it never seemed to happen then one day i started to feel sick so my sis inlaw suggested taking a test and so i did, i never imagined it would be possitive but it was so i took 2 more tests all with the same result POSITIVE.
We were so happy and excited, we couldnt wait to meet you u were so longed for and very very loved, we saw you on our first scan and u were jumping all around like a little fish we were so happy we bought scan pics for all the family, everyone was so happy for us they all said i would be a brilliant mum and Andrew an excellent Dad.
I had no morning sickness or cravings just felt nauseous then we had our second scan we couldnt wait to find out if you were a boy or girl so we could finally choose a name for my little bump, so mummy, Daddy, aunty sarah & aunty sharon all bundled into the room waiting to see what sex u were and that was when the nurse looked at me and said those dreaded words, "i'm sorry to tell you your babys dead" i couldnt believe it we all started crying, your aunties ran out of the room crying, mummy & daddy were then shown into another room and told that we would be taken to the labour ward to take a tablet to induce labour, i didnt understand how this could happen and now they wanted me to take a tablet which to me felt like they were taking my baby away, if you were inside me you were still mine to keep but i had to take the tablet and come back in 3 days, that was awful, i had to go home knowing my baby was dead inside me and that in a few days i had to give birth. I cried so much, your poor daddy was heartbroken, we all were. So the time came to go into hospital i was there for 13 half hours in labour and then you were born but i closed my eyes, i wanted your daddy to see you first and he did we named you cody-ann as cody was the only name we liked for a boy or girl then the chaplain of the hospital hilary fife came and blessed you we all cried and we filmed it so we could watch it back someday then it was time to say goodbye and arrange your funeral.
On 11th July 2005 we held your funeral at streatham crematorium, you had a lovely white coffin which was pink on the inside, we put photos and teddys and a st christopher in your coffin with you, your daddy & uncle lee carried your tiny little coffin into the church, we asked your cousin little danny to right a poem which he read out and we asked aunty sarah to sing spice girls goodbye and mummy & daddy placed a rose each on your coffin then the curtains were closed while eric claptons tears in heaven played i sobbed my heart out.
We then went outside to the garden where daddy releassed a dove and i releassed a balloon and it was there we said so long never goodbye.
You are our little butterfly angel who is now safe in heaven watching over us till we meet again, you are loved so so so very very much and we miss you everyday and say goodnight to you every night. sweet dreams our perfect little angel rest in peace love mummy & daddy xxxxx
To our 2nd angel Baby peanut we miss you so much, we thought this time would be different but sadly it was not meant to be, play happily with ur sister and all the other angels, sweetdreams Peanut love mummy & daddy xxxxxxx
A flower may die,The sun may set,But Angels like you,We will never forget love Stacey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Member Of Life After Death~Baby Loss Forum
I am sorry for your loss I really am. Your little Baby is with all the other little ones that have sadly had to leave us .. I wish it were different for us all I really do.
Take care of yourself.
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So Sorry
Im So Sorry For Your Loss I Lost My Baby Cody Stillborn To I Was 18 Weeks Gone My Thoughts Are With You And Your Family Try And Stay Strong x x x
AND GOD SAID
I said,
'God, I hurt.'
And God said,
'I know.'
I said,
'God, I cry a lot.'
And God said,
'That is why I gave you tears.'
I said,
'God, I am so depressed.'
And God said,
'That is why I gave you Sunshine.'
I said,
'God, life is so hard.'
And God said,
'That is why I gave you loved ones.'
I said,
'God, my loved one died.'
And God said,
'So did mine.'
I said,
'God, it is such a loss.'
And God said,
'I saw mine nailed to the cross.'
I said,
'God, but your loved one lives.'
And God said,
'So does yours.'
I said,
'God, where are they now?'
And God said,
'Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light.'
I said,
'God, it hurts.'
And God said,
'I know.'
Author Unknown
I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
you found it hard to sleep.
I looked at you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
'It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here.'
I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour your tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached out to me.
I was with you at the shops today,
your arms were getting sore.
I longed to help with shopping,
I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today
you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you,
I smiled and said 'it’s me.'
You looked so very tired
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be
so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
'I never went away.'
You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew,
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile
and watch you yawning,
and say 'goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning.'
And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you,
there is so much to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...
then come home to be with me.
I say, I'm pregnant.
You say, How wonderful, congratulations.
I think, You don't understand, I'm afraid.
You think, Good, soon she will be happy again.
I say, I'm afraid it might all happen again.
You say, Lightning won't strike twice, don't worry.
I think, Why ever not?
You think, She is just being paranoid,
The chances of it happening again are not very high.
I think, How can you understand how vulnerable I feel?
Since our baby died I have lost all naiveté
All belief in happy endings
All sense of trust in my body
I no longer believe that if I look after myself and the baby
That everything will be all right, after all that is what
I did last time and look what happened.
You can't fool me so easily again.
Of course I am happy about this pregnancy ....
Thrilled and of course I will look after myself and the baby (to the very best of my ability)
But I realise now the there are no guarantees.
So no words of comfort or encouragement that you can say Are enough for me.
I feel that I have bought a lottery ticket,
And you are congratulating me on getting the first prize Before the lottery is even drawn.
I prefer the wait and see approach.
I would appreciate it if you could try to understand how Vulnerable I feel and support me with your love, concern, And prayers during this pregnancy.
Be with me when I feel like talking just as you have been With me during my grief.
But don't offer me platitudes or statistics or comfort I've Had enough of them.
Instead offer me YOUR naiveté YOUR belief
In happy /endings.
You never know some of your optimism might rub off.....
On me!
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×°× `·.¸.·´ ×°×
**+*R,I,P*+**
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