| Location | Croydon |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 7/2005 |
| Date of Death | 7/2005 |
| Visitors | 2,227 since 13/03/2007 |
| Creator |
Cody-Ann Tucker
Born asleep on 03/07/2005
19 weeks gestation
Due on 8/11/2005
My Baby Girl (daughter)
Mummy & Daddy
Stillborn
Baby Peanut Tucker
Miscarried on 09/08/2007
8 weeks gestation
Due on 21/03/2008
I never thought i would ever get pregnant as it never seemed to happen then one day i started to
feel sick so my sis inlaw suggested taking a test and so i did, i never imagined it would be
possitive but it was so i took 2 more tests all with the same result POSITIVE.
We were so happy and excited, we couldnt wait to meet you u were so longed for and very very loved,
we saw you on our first scan and u were jumping all around like a little fish we were so happy we
bought scan pics for all the family, everyone was so happy for us they all said i would be a
brilliant mum and Andrew an excellent Dad.
I had no morning sickness or cravings just felt nauseous then we had our second scan we couldnt wait
to find out if you were a boy or girl so we could finally choose a name for my little bump, so
mummy, Daddy, aunty sarah & aunty sharon all bundled into the room waiting to see what sex u
were and that was when the nurse looked at me and said those dreaded words, "i'm sorry to
tell you your babys dead" i couldnt believe it we all started crying, your aunties ran out of
the room crying, mummy & daddy were then shown into another room and told that we would be taken
to the labour ward to take a tablet to induce labour, i didnt understand how this could happen and
now they wanted me to take a tablet which to me felt like they were taking my baby away, if you were
inside me you were still mine to keep but i had to take the tablet and come back in 3 days, that was
awful, i had to go home knowing my baby was dead inside me and that in a few days i had to give
birth. I cried so much, your poor daddy was heartbroken, we all were. So the time came to go into
hospital i was there for 13 half hours in labour and then you were born but i closed my eyes, i
wanted your daddy to see you first and he did we named you cody-ann as cody was the only name we
liked for a boy or girl then the chaplain of the hospital hilary fife came and blessed you we all
cried and we filmed it so we could watch it back someday then it was time to say goodbye and arrange
your funeral.
On 11th July 2005 we held your funeral at streatham crematorium, you had a lovely white coffin which
was pink on the inside, we put photos and teddys and a st christopher in your coffin with you, your
daddy & uncle lee carried your tiny little coffin into the church, we asked your cousin little
danny to right a poem which he read out and we asked aunty sarah to sing spice girls goodbye and
mummy & daddy placed a rose each on your coffin then the curtains were closed while eric
claptons tears in heaven played i sobbed my heart out.
We then went outside to the garden where daddy releassed a dove and i releassed a balloon and it was
there we said so long never goodbye.
You are our little butterfly angel who is now safe in heaven watching over us till we meet again,
you are loved so so so very very much and we miss you everyday and say goodnight to you every night.
sweet dreams our perfect little angel rest in peace love mummy & daddy xxxxx
To our 2nd angel Baby peanut we miss you so much, we thought this time would be different but sadly
it was not meant to be, play happily with ur sister and all the other angels, sweetdreams Peanut
love mummy & daddy xxxxxxx
A flower may die,The sun may set,But Angels like you,We will never forget love Stacey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Member Of Life After Death~Baby Loss Forum
I am sorry for your loss I really am. Your little Baby is with all the other little ones that have sadly had to leave us .. I wish it were different for us all I really do.
Take care of yourself.
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So Sorry
Im So Sorry For Your Loss I Lost My Baby Cody Stillborn To I Was 18 Weeks Gone My Thoughts Are With You And Your Family Try And Stay Strong x x x
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------------OO------ --------------- A CANDLE OF LOVE
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I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
you found it hard to sleep.
I looked at you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
'It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here.'
I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour your tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached out to me.
I was with you at the shops today,
your arms were getting sore.
I longed to help with shopping,
I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today
you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you,
I smiled and said 'it’s me.'
You looked so very tired
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be
so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
'I never went away.'
You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew,
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile
and watch you yawning,
and say 'goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning.'
And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you,
there is so much to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...
then come home to be with me.
miss you more than anything
Every second of every day,
My heart completely shattered
The day you went away.
I wish that you'd tell me that you're O.K
Thats all I want to hear,
I want to have you near me
I want to feel you near.
I just want to know that you're happy
And that life it does go on,
I'll never stop worrying about you
'cos thats my job as your Mum.
If you can find a way to tell me
Thats all you have to do,
Then I could cope a little easier
Instead of always wondering about you.
Just a few little signs
Thats all I need to see,
Things that only we'd know
It would mean so much to me.
I'll leave you now to think it over
And then hopefully one day,
You'll send me all those little signs
And then i'll know that your ok
When you see a butterfly, dancing colours flying by
A willowy feather rising high,
and a gentle pink rose, soft as a sigh
When a colourful rainbow appears in the sky
You will know, I am standing by
I am still sparkling, I am nearby
The shiniest star you can see in the sky
Like the joy I brought you while I was here
I am glistening inside every tear
I am shining, I am bright, , I am in the light
I am the butterfly, the rainbow and the rose
I am that feather but in different clothes
I am always beside you, each step that you take
I sit and think with you, each decision you make
I walk with you, talk with you and feel you so near
Although you can’t see me, I hold you so dear
I am always with you and will always be there
Every breath that you take, I am in the air
Think of me singing a song so sweet
In a beautiful place where one day we will meet
Till then I am sleeping in heavenly peace
It hurts me, your pain, but please understand
I’m safe and I’m happy, I’m holding your hand
I am always with you
know it’s hard to be with me
When I am still feeling this way
I did not choose for this to happen
It shouldn’t have been this way
It’s been nearly a year now
Since my baby died
But my grief is still real
And cannot be hidden inside
I need you to try and understand me
To acknowledge my feelings that are real
I have lost something too precious
For time to ever heal
I gave birth to my baby
The same way as any other new mum
The strength of my emotions
Are not changed just because he is gone
When I carried my baby
My bond of love formed inside
For weeks I felt him kicking
Reassuring me he was alive
I made room in my life
For my first and only child
But the space was never filled
Because my baby died
I felt the pain of contractions
When he was ready to be born
Although he was not breathing
My love was still just as strong
My body was prepared and ready
To nurture and to care
My breasts full, and seeping milk
For a baby that wasn’t there
My hormones still sent signals
To protect and to hold
But my arms remained empty
His body perfect, but growing cold
Please don’t expect me to forget him
Or to ‘just get on with my life’
There are no ‘fixes to my problem’
Nothing that can be ‘put right’
I may go on to have another baby
But my pain will not be erased
Grief can not be measured
In weeks or in days
My baby was a person
Not a pregnancy that came to an end
Maybe if you had held him
Perhaps you would begin to understand
My child should have been with me
For the rest of my life
Please remember, although he is silent
He still keeps me awake at night
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