| Location | Croydon |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 7/2005 |
| Date of Death | 7/2005 |
| Visitors | 2,229 since 13/03/2007 |
| Creator |
Cody-Ann Tucker
Born asleep on 03/07/2005
19 weeks gestation
Due on 8/11/2005
My Baby Girl (daughter)
Mummy & Daddy
Stillborn
Baby Peanut Tucker
Miscarried on 09/08/2007
8 weeks gestation
Due on 21/03/2008
I never thought i would ever get pregnant as it never seemed to happen then one day i started to
feel sick so my sis inlaw suggested taking a test and so i did, i never imagined it would be
possitive but it was so i took 2 more tests all with the same result POSITIVE.
We were so happy and excited, we couldnt wait to meet you u were so longed for and very very loved,
we saw you on our first scan and u were jumping all around like a little fish we were so happy we
bought scan pics for all the family, everyone was so happy for us they all said i would be a
brilliant mum and Andrew an excellent Dad.
I had no morning sickness or cravings just felt nauseous then we had our second scan we couldnt wait
to find out if you were a boy or girl so we could finally choose a name for my little bump, so
mummy, Daddy, aunty sarah & aunty sharon all bundled into the room waiting to see what sex u
were and that was when the nurse looked at me and said those dreaded words, "i'm sorry to
tell you your babys dead" i couldnt believe it we all started crying, your aunties ran out of
the room crying, mummy & daddy were then shown into another room and told that we would be taken
to the labour ward to take a tablet to induce labour, i didnt understand how this could happen and
now they wanted me to take a tablet which to me felt like they were taking my baby away, if you were
inside me you were still mine to keep but i had to take the tablet and come back in 3 days, that was
awful, i had to go home knowing my baby was dead inside me and that in a few days i had to give
birth. I cried so much, your poor daddy was heartbroken, we all were. So the time came to go into
hospital i was there for 13 half hours in labour and then you were born but i closed my eyes, i
wanted your daddy to see you first and he did we named you cody-ann as cody was the only name we
liked for a boy or girl then the chaplain of the hospital hilary fife came and blessed you we all
cried and we filmed it so we could watch it back someday then it was time to say goodbye and arrange
your funeral.
On 11th July 2005 we held your funeral at streatham crematorium, you had a lovely white coffin which
was pink on the inside, we put photos and teddys and a st christopher in your coffin with you, your
daddy & uncle lee carried your tiny little coffin into the church, we asked your cousin little
danny to right a poem which he read out and we asked aunty sarah to sing spice girls goodbye and
mummy & daddy placed a rose each on your coffin then the curtains were closed while eric
claptons tears in heaven played i sobbed my heart out.
We then went outside to the garden where daddy releassed a dove and i releassed a balloon and it was
there we said so long never goodbye.
You are our little butterfly angel who is now safe in heaven watching over us till we meet again,
you are loved so so so very very much and we miss you everyday and say goodnight to you every night.
sweet dreams our perfect little angel rest in peace love mummy & daddy xxxxx
To our 2nd angel Baby peanut we miss you so much, we thought this time would be different but sadly
it was not meant to be, play happily with ur sister and all the other angels, sweetdreams Peanut
love mummy & daddy xxxxxxx
A man in grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since 'men don't cry' and 'men are strong'
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
'My friend, but how are you?'
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
but 'stays strong' for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave --
He lost his baby too.
A daddy hurts too
People don't always see the tears a dad cries,
His heart is broken too when his child dies.
He tries to hold it together and be strong,
Even though his world's gone wrong.
He holds his wife as her tears fall,
Comforts her through it all,
He goes through his day doing what he's supposed to do,
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away too.
So when he's alone he lets out his pain,
And his tears come like falling rain,
His world has crashed in around him,
And a world that was once bright has gone dim.
He feels he has to be strong for others,
But Dads hurt too, not just the Mothers,
He searches for answers but none are to be found,
He hides behind a mask when he is feeling down.
He smiles through his tears,
He struggles and holds in his fears,
But what you see on the outside is not always real,
Men don't always show how they really feel.
So I'd like to ask a favor of you,
The next time you see a mother hurting
over the loss of her child,
please remember.....a Dad hurts too.
Waiting for you
I'm pregnant I just got the news
I sit rubbing by belly waiting for you.
Although you can't move yet I still fell you there
as I close my eyes and fall deep into prayer.
Dear God, thank you for this precious child
this is a miracle from heaven there is no denial.
I imagine holding you as you place your hand into mine
as I opened my eyes and realized the time.
The time was in the past
but that vision of you is a memory that still lasts.
You left me to early
and for this I still weep
my womb is empty
the pain is so deep.
I can't help but wonder if you are ok
I imagine you placing your hand into mine one day
as we soar side by side in the heavens above
but for now my angel I will still give you love
as I rub my belly you are not there
as I look up to heaven with a wondering stare.
I close my eyes and begin to pray
Jesus, will you please bless me again one day soon. xxxxx
Hi my angel
Hello my gorgeous butterfly angel, mummy misses u so much. Yesterday i went 2 the baby memorial at he hospital chapel with aunty sarah & cousin caitlin, Daddy didnt come with us which made me sad but he was thinking of you and i lit a candle from him 2 u and i lit a candle for jamie & baby bean henderson-long, poor nic couldnt face it, my heart goes out to her. I spoke to REV hilary and she is going to do a service for ur birthday which is coming up on 3rd july i love u my precious girl stay safe & keep shinning love always ur mummy xxxxx
hello lisa..
Im not sure if i can face sunday at the mo think it might be to much upset for me after loseing this baby to
im def gonna do jamies service but gotta find out how i do it..
Sorry i didnt text you back had loads of ppl texting but just couldnt text it all was to upset.
Im doing well at the mo trying to sort my life out i couldnt take it if this happens again.
Ive had so many mad thoughts at the mo i need to start to think about myself give me time to get better inside out out!!
Im not gonna try again for a while im looking for a jib get myself out and doing things i need something to make me not go mad!!
Also gonna do oads of diffrent things so when i do get preg im gonna be all healthy and no reason i could lose another baby
hope your ok lisa x x
On angels wings
I don't know why the angels came,
And decided to take you away.
They must have needed someone very special,
When they carried you on their wings that day.
I wondered how they could take you from me,
And leave me here on my own.
Then I realised your love would live on inside me,
So in my heart, I would never be alone.
God must have had a greater purpose for you,
When He decided your time on earth was done.
He must have wanted you for a heavenly angel,
So you would be able to watch over everyone.
The angels told Him you were so very special,
And could make the world a greater place to live.
So with wings full of love, they took you to Heaven,
And now everyone can feel all the love you have to give
Hey lisa
Yes i will be coming to the service.
How do i get one set up for jamie's due date it's coming up so quick but i really wanna have a memorial service for jamie.
preg is coming on well so far there is a pic in jamies photo's of the scan so have a look hun.
You turn will be soon darlin because you deserve it so much..
We will have to arrange meeting up for service x x
Hope your ok cody ann love you baby x x
From one angel mummy to another xx
In the beginning you think you’re the only one
You don't see how you'll ever be able to carry on
Family and friends they just don't understand,
For they still hold their child's hand.
Sadly they can only relate,
If they have stood were you now stand.
Help and support is what you'll need,
To help you get up from bended knees
My angels had a plan
They asked their angel friends
If they could send their mummys
To hold my hand and help me to understand
Why things are not the way I'd planned
Never ending support is what I receive
From these wonderful angel mummys
Who mean so much to me
I don't know where I'd be if those sweet angel mummys
Had not reached out to comfort me
Thank you for helping me walk
The heartbreaking journey called grief
hi lisa
hope u ok .sorry not been on for a while had abuse on chynas site .get in touch soon .thinking of u xxxxxx
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