| Location | Croydon |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 7/2005 |
| Date of Death | 7/2005 |
| Visitors | 2,229 since 13/03/2007 |
| Creator |
Cody-Ann Tucker
Born asleep on 03/07/2005
19 weeks gestation
Due on 8/11/2005
My Baby Girl (daughter)
Mummy & Daddy
Stillborn
Baby Peanut Tucker
Miscarried on 09/08/2007
8 weeks gestation
Due on 21/03/2008
I never thought i would ever get pregnant as it never seemed to happen then one day i started to
feel sick so my sis inlaw suggested taking a test and so i did, i never imagined it would be
possitive but it was so i took 2 more tests all with the same result POSITIVE.
We were so happy and excited, we couldnt wait to meet you u were so longed for and very very loved,
we saw you on our first scan and u were jumping all around like a little fish we were so happy we
bought scan pics for all the family, everyone was so happy for us they all said i would be a
brilliant mum and Andrew an excellent Dad.
I had no morning sickness or cravings just felt nauseous then we had our second scan we couldnt wait
to find out if you were a boy or girl so we could finally choose a name for my little bump, so
mummy, Daddy, aunty sarah & aunty sharon all bundled into the room waiting to see what sex u
were and that was when the nurse looked at me and said those dreaded words, "i'm sorry to
tell you your babys dead" i couldnt believe it we all started crying, your aunties ran out of
the room crying, mummy & daddy were then shown into another room and told that we would be taken
to the labour ward to take a tablet to induce labour, i didnt understand how this could happen and
now they wanted me to take a tablet which to me felt like they were taking my baby away, if you were
inside me you were still mine to keep but i had to take the tablet and come back in 3 days, that was
awful, i had to go home knowing my baby was dead inside me and that in a few days i had to give
birth. I cried so much, your poor daddy was heartbroken, we all were. So the time came to go into
hospital i was there for 13 half hours in labour and then you were born but i closed my eyes, i
wanted your daddy to see you first and he did we named you cody-ann as cody was the only name we
liked for a boy or girl then the chaplain of the hospital hilary fife came and blessed you we all
cried and we filmed it so we could watch it back someday then it was time to say goodbye and arrange
your funeral.
On 11th July 2005 we held your funeral at streatham crematorium, you had a lovely white coffin which
was pink on the inside, we put photos and teddys and a st christopher in your coffin with you, your
daddy & uncle lee carried your tiny little coffin into the church, we asked your cousin little
danny to right a poem which he read out and we asked aunty sarah to sing spice girls goodbye and
mummy & daddy placed a rose each on your coffin then the curtains were closed while eric
claptons tears in heaven played i sobbed my heart out.
We then went outside to the garden where daddy releassed a dove and i releassed a balloon and it was
there we said so long never goodbye.
You are our little butterfly angel who is now safe in heaven watching over us till we meet again,
you are loved so so so very very much and we miss you everyday and say goodnight to you every night.
sweet dreams our perfect little angel rest in peace love mummy & daddy xxxxx
To our 2nd angel Baby peanut we miss you so much, we thought this time would be different but sadly
it was not meant to be, play happily with ur sister and all the other angels, sweetdreams Peanut
love mummy & daddy xxxxxxx
Just For A While
Just for a while you had a shining dream,
Then darkness fell,
All around you, Sadness and despair,
No light to guide you; no laughter there.
Just for a while, I was your hopes fulfilled,
Then hope was gone.
My sole released from it's imperfect shell,
Saw your tears and caught them as they fell.
It heard your voices,sweet and walm,
Like a butterfly that lives and dies in just one day,
I left the world and gently flew away.
Just for a while, I touched your lifes with joy,
And then Pain,
But don't be sad and grieve each coming year,
Just hold each other close and say
For just a while our child was here.
My Mum is a survivor,
Or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night,
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night,
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her,
To help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach,
That never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mum,
Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
A smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see,
Tears flowing from her eyes.
My mum tries to cope with death,
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows,
It is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mum,
Through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels,
Protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
Or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
No matter what she feels,
My surviving mum has a broken heart,
That time won't ever heal.
for your mummy
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my daughter is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want her here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear her voice, see her face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact she is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say her name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.
sorry lisa
i not been on for a while i had some nasty messages left on chynas so was going to delete her site not come on here no more........but i met to many new friends so im ignoring it xxx
for Lisa xx
How do i explain?
I am in love with an Angel
And this i can not explain
If you have not lost like i have,
your ears wont hear the same
You can not hear my heart ache
You cannot hear my despair
You will not feel my yearning
You can not feel my heart tear
It tears a little more each day
But your eyes they can not see
I really want to show you
How much my Angel means to me
You might think you understand
And i do know that you care
But unless you have lost someone close
There's no knowing my despair
One day i feel so terribly lost
In depths i have never been
The next i feel such overwhelming love
I am bursting at the seams
I can not explain it all to you
I love my Angel more than you can tell
I try to keep this under control
But sometimes i want to yell
I want to tell the whole wide world
That my Angel and i did not part
But i cant show people physically
that Angel lives within my heart
thanks lisa for always thinking of my angel too xx
The little ones
Why God takes the little ones
I swear I'll never know
You had so much life to live
It just wasn't time to go.
For comfort, now, I think of you
With tiny little wings
Up above, in a beautiful place,
listening to angels sing.
You'll never know the pain I feel
The hurt you left behind.
Oh, what I wouldn't give to hold you one more time.
I carried you in my womb,
Then I carried you in my arms
And now, until it no longer beats
I'll carry you in my heart
Lisa, Thank you so much for the gorgeous poem you put on my baby's website, means the world to me! And thank you also for the offer to e-mail you if i need to talk. I may just take you up on that offer someday! Thanks again hun.
Luv Karen
xxx
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